#accidentally posted this to my side blog originally whoops

[keepinginkspots]

A Dreamling hug for you all

[randomravager]

hello tis me!

(kinda rushed intro post but ill fix it later)

my irl name stays irl, but I use the name Arli online! im a minor so keep that in mind when interacting with my blog. oh also im queer (?) and most likely aroace-spec (edit: what is attraction? and why are men and women hot)

I like to read, crochet, write poetry, swim, and im also learning the drums! I speak Arabic too which ig ill add here :)

fandom list which is definitely not covering everything:

- marauders

-Rick riordan

- steven universe

-gravity falls

-the magnus archives

- uh there’s definitely more I’ll add them later

tagging system

#blippity blap: original posts, if there is ever a need I will put trigger warnings and a post under the cut but that doesn’t happen often

#asks: self-explanatory

#art: pretty art I wanna go back to

#my writing: self-explanatory

#savesavesave: little self-affirmation type stuff, so if you’re ever feeling like shit i probably have some nice little reminder posts saved under that tag

writing side blog: @poetic-universes

SEND ME ASKS PLEASE! I love interaction :D

also if you have anything you’ve written, or you have poetry/book/fics send them my way ✨

oh also if anything I say upsets you please let me know (respectfully ofc). like if you want me to refrain from using certain terms or text slangs on you, or if i accidentally say anything offensive

I’ll make a moot list of ppl who I shall henceforth tag in things so let me know if you’d like to be removed from the list/i forgot you

@qua-qua-qua @monn-i @everybody-hit-the-pyro-cue @raeprise @daggerhobbit @quintessentially1 @saturnrain17 (not an extensive list by far whoops)

[jnicolewrites]

wip intros

(long post whoops) here's a guide to some of the things I have up on wattpad atm and probably the stories i'll talk about the most on this blog. most of them are finished first drafts i will maybe actually edit in like, five years or so. enjoy!

Eighth Moon (IN PROGRESS in progress)

Genre: fantasy? steampunk? steampunk fantasy? steampunk fantasy ft. paranormal? I have no idea

Blurb: In the hopes of fanning the flames of rebellion against the colonizing nation, a freedom fighter tracks down the last heir to her nation’s throne, who was thought to be assassinated. Just one eensy problem. He’s a werewolf, and thanks to an age-old legend, they’d all be doomed if the public ever found out.

Quote: The wolf was nowhere to be seen. In its place knelt a man, the naked curve of his back facing her, his head hung so that she only see the barest tuft of his black hair.

Elaine covered her mouth. “Well, shit.”

The House Above the Sea

Genre: paranormal/romance (slash between paranormal and romance bc no one falls in love with the paranormal entity. we do not like the paranormal entity)

Blurb: A New York City teenager spending the summer in Hawaii meets a boy trapped in an old house, cursed to never speak again. Why is he so set on breaking the boy’s curse? cuz they’re friends ofc no other reason

Quote: Kit opens his arms, and like a tired soldier finally returning home, Neo slumps into them. Kit smells like acrylic paint and ink, like an artist, like art. Neo breathes him in, and in the way only art can do to a person, is transformed.

The Search for Juno (series)

Genre: fantasy/adventure/humor

Blurb: A young woman accidentally kills a man in self-defense one night, but said man was actually the god Poseidon, and now he’s placed a bounty on her head. Her solution: trick the pantheon, frame someone else for the crime, and take the money for herself.

Quote: In the parking lot below, Hermes waved at her from the driver’s side of an atrociously purple Jaguar. It was one of those sports cars that looked like someone had crushed it beneath their foot: low and slim, the Victoria’s Secret models of automobiles. Angie absolutely hated it.

“What is that disgusting, grape-looking thing?” Angie called, squinting in the early morning sun. Despite the hour, the heat was a tangible pressure on Angie’s skin, not a lick of moisture in the dusty air. “And why are you driving it?”

Folding the Sky

Genre: fantasy 

Blurb: A meteor strikes the earth, and its magical rock dust gives a certain segment of the population unusual abilities, dubbed the Celestials. With the help of four others with powers like hers, one Celestial who can see others’ memories must find a missing man in possession of a clairvoyant tapestry before war breaks out.

Quote: If ever something was lost, from a piece of jewelry to a favorite corset to an old smoking pipe, Zuri Ayim was the one who could recover it.

People praised Zuri for her skill, but it wasn’t that, exactly. It wasn’t that she had a knack for finding lost things, it was that the human mind often knew where they were. All it took was adequate digging.

That’s a Good Question (series)

Genre: urban fantasy/humor

Blurb: According to the prophecy of a young witch, a very tired demon hybrid with mommy issues has to save the city from an unknown evil.

Quote: “With the help of a demon.”

I sputter, “Half-demon.”

Midge’s mom waves me off. She just gives her daughter this weird look that’s caught between admiration and concern and then tells her, “Just be careful, alright? I can’t have you getting hurt.”

“He promised,” Midge reminds her. “He promised not to steal my soul.”

Within/Without

Genre: romance

Blurb: A shapeshifter has fallen in love with the same girl again and again as they grew up together, but this is the first time she’s met his original face. Plentiful chaos (and some romance i guess) ensues.

Quote: With my other hand, I comb a hand through his hair. To my surprise, it straightens and lengthens underneath my fingertips, shimmering once again with Simon’s natural ginger hue. Simon—the real Simon, the one body that is his and his only—blinks at me, red-faced. “What are you doing?”

Instead of answering, I kiss him, slowly, passionately, so that he feels the heat pouring off of me and I off of him. He says my name, softly. “Live,” I tell him. “I am telling you to live.”

100 Yellow Doors

Genre: paranormal

Blurb: An amnesiac vampire and a woman who time travels against her will form an unorthodox and sometimes awkward friendship that spans the lengths of time.

Quote: He remembered a night he found Iman on his doorstep, only for such a violent wave of relief to pass over him that he nearly staggered—and he remembered the cold emptiness in his chest twenty-three minutes later when she vanished again. He had missed people before, he thought, but never in the savage, unpredictable way he missed Iman.

I’m planning to make actual wip pages for these sometime in the near future, so stay tuned, and thanks if u read this far!

[whatyouwantedmetosee]

Thoughts on some Jack X Joey??

Boy howdy do I have a lot of thoughts!! (I actually love this ship, whoops.)

Disclaimer: a lot of my thoughts are from before the Illusion of Living, but now that I know the IOL stuff, I can’t not factor that in to my thoughts. So, various slight spoilers for the Illusion of Living under the cut!

Secondary Disclaimer: My information about the books is via other people, so I may have slight information wrong. This is a lot of headcanons anyway so please excuse any inaccuracies!

(It’s also honestly a lot of rambling character analysis rather than ship thoughts, so I guess if you want to hear my TED Talk on Jack Fain’s personality that’s in here too.)

SO! Obviously this one isn’t exactly like... an Obvious Pairing. But it’s one I think could, theoretically, be pretty nice.

First off: So like, I’m honestly just, gobsmacked, the amount of fuel for my sorta niche ship that showed up in the Illusion of Living? Joey Drew and Jack Fain have coffee and chat, that’s cUTE??? (Also apparently the audiobook puts weird emphasis on Joey enjoying their... meetings, which IDK, it’s probably intended as a like “haha yeah it’s a work meeting even tho we’re actually just having coffee for most of it” but tOO BAD I MADE IT QUEER NOW.

Anyway, on to actual thoughts, which I have split into mini chapters because I am physically incapable of being succinct:

Part One: The Accidental TED Talk About Jack Fain (Or At Least How I View Him)

A lot of my thoughts on this ship are affected by how I view Jack as a character, I think? I see him as someone who’s soft, and nice, yeah, and overall very chill, but I don’t really see him as a pushover, really? I feel like, Jack’s a character who can tell what people want, and then sorta... gently steer them in a direction, rather than just going with what they want.

So like, with Sammy - Sammy is real direct and blunt and rude, and somehow Jack manages to work with him well. This is actually sorta how I view that one IOL scene where Jack interrupts Joey and Sammy’s Gay Reminiscing:tm: - he sees Sammy getting off track and distracted, and decides to step in to keep things back on topic.

I feel like this probably is also how they’re able to work together so well, because Jack can tell when he needs to step in to keep Sammy on track, while also understanding how Sammy wants him to act and doing what Sammy wants him to do. (And as a side note, I honestly feel like Sammy probably knows this and appreciates it? Helps keep things running smoothly. Probably why he isn’t as much of an ass to Jack as he can be to other people.)

Basically, I see him as having a pretty good skill at like, working out people’s systems, working out how to please them, while also coming to compromises that help him also get his point across.

I also feel like, I’m not sure how much of Jack’s Big Attention Seeking Energy is him, so much as him filling a role to do what needs to be done? I don’t think he necessarily hates it, but like... Working with Sammy, someone has to be doing that role. He knows how to work with people, work an audience, get the attention the duo needs to be successful the way Sammy can’t. (Sammy outright doesn’t want attention, but alas, that doesn’t really pay the bills.)

But then, when you hear about Jack at JDS, he tends to get away from everything and be more chill - and I read that as more like, now that he doesn’t need to draw attention for his job, he’s able to settle down a little in that regard. Writing is a lot different from pleasing a crowd, so he doesn’t need to maintain that persona, and can slip into more comfortable habits, get some more peace as he works on writing.

(Also, wrt the one audiolog he has about not being too bothered about that one award being in Joey’s name - I feel like, if he doesn’t actually want the attention so much, I could see him... like, legitimately just not minding it that much, actually, rather than being passive aggressive about it or anything.)

Anyway!!! Those are my thoughts on Jack, so now we can move onto...

Section B: Jack/Joey? On This Blog??? It’s More Likely Than You Think 

So then, with regards to like... shipping with Joey. Note that we’re now sliding into even more headcanon-y territory.

I feel like at the very beginning, Joey probably misreads Jack a lot. He’s still kinda expecting that showy, charismatic, crowd-pleasing persona, the like... what he reads as wanting attention. (Which, true, Jack was seeking that out - because the job required it, not because he, specifically, wanted it.)

So, what he gets is a bit more of a surprise - a bit more chill, calmer. But, he still has that ability to work with people, even though he’s not using it on a crowd.

From the sounds of things in IOL, it seems like, the meeting stuff between Joey and the Music Dept. Boys goes pretty smoothly... but like, I get the impression that later on in the studio’s timeline, things go slightly less well between Sammy and Joey. (Stares at the conspicuous lack of Jack Fain in DCTL. Hm.)

But yeah, I like to imagine, Jack in meetings with Joey and Sammy, helping like... smooth things over more when changes need to be made or the music isn’t working out quite how Joey wants it to. Jack knows enough about Sammy to know how to appeal to his side of things, while also compromising enough with Joey’s side of things, incorporating the changes Joey wants but suggesting ways it could work better, helping tone down Joey’s helpful suggestions that wouldn’t work as well as he thinks they would.

I’m a big fan of the concept of like... Joey originally has a big crush on Sammy, he’s so mysterious, what’s going on in his head, etc. - but then, a lot more slowly, he gets to know Jack better, spends more time with him, slowly works out how Jack actually works. Learns to appreciate that more subdued charisma he has, the way he can tell how people work and work with it.

And then, it’s just nice to imagine a nicer more chill Joey ship. Have some nice meetings, get coffee together, casually make out in Joey’s office. That’s some good content.

(It also works nicely because I feel like... IDK, I don’t think Jack would just put up with Joey’s Being Joey, I don’t think he’s that much of a pushover. So like, IDK, in this scenario Joey learns to be a bit less of a jerk, maybe things don’t go so bad. Or, I mean. Stares some more at the conspicuous lack of Jack Fain in DCTL. Hmmmmm.) 

...

Also like, this is also good opportunity for a Joey/Sammy/Jack OT3, give Joey the best of both worlds. Jack cares a lot about Sammy, Joey is infatuated with Sammy and slowly grows to understand Jack, Jack helps Sammy and Joey clash slightly less and work together better, etc. It’s a different ship, but also good.

Act III: Okay But What If I Added Some Angst? Eh? Any Takers???

So, first up, consider: this very good post of Jack Fain thoughts by @inkyvendingmachine. Now hear me out:

Jack Fain, who (through whatever nonsense) ended up with his office nice and tucked away in the sewers where he has some peace and quiet. Due to Some Reason, be it poor memory on Joey’s part or unclear instruction when he demanded that the Ink Demon be locked up...

The Ink Demon gets locked away in the Infirmary... but, unbeknownst to Joey, Jack is still in there. Things don’t go well. Joey realises, and...

Well.

Add in some previous Jack/Joey shipping, and Joey suddenly realising what he’s caused, unintentionally or no. Lead that into either Joey losing it and turning to his weird ink nonsense, or Joey going further than he meant in attempt to somehow reverse what he did.

Throw in some additional: Jack is no longer there to help balance out Joey’s Joeyness. He’s also no longer there to help out with Sammy and Joey interactions - a Sammy who can tell something’s happened with Jack, but Joey sure isn’t going to just tell him what happened, and that certainly isn’t helping things here.

...

maybe i put something like that in my requirement au. just a little. its fine. i lov to cause myself pain

[beinfriends-a]

As I announced a while back, I am adding a few new muses to the blog; Bede and Leon-- but I’ve also elected to add Chairman Rose to the roster as well.  While I am still working on their bios (I’m trying to juggle homework and rp jdfsdfbjsd and it’s slow goin-), I stated in my tags of that original post that these characters would be extremely canon divergent, and I hold true to that.  Enclosed here is the in depth explanation for the AU for which all SwSh muses operate under: the Rusted Sword and Broken Shield AU-- or RSBS for short.

Please use this for reference if you are confused about the verse for my muses.  This is an overview for the entire AU, so there’s some extra characters discussed as well aside from my muses.  I’d also like to give a quick shout-out to my buddy Koshi for reading over this and helping come up with a lot of Marnie’s arc (because I completely forgot about her the first time... whoops).  He doesn’t have a blog for me to tag unfortunately, but I sincerely appreciate the help!

Under the cut because it’s long.

Gloria is the player.

Hop like usual, idolizes Leon and has developed an arrogance from being the Champion’s brother.  He can’t separate his own identity from Leon’s and so becomes incredibly discouraged when he keeps losing to his rival.  It’s Gloria that ends up making Hop reconsider his choice to become a Trainer, rather than Bede.  Bede rubs it in, but he’s not the root cause.  Hop realizes he’s thought he was better than Gloria this entire time and learns to see her as an equal.

He learns by the end that you have to lose sometimes in order to grow as a person.  If you’re never challenged, you’ll stagnate as a person.  After seeing Leon struggle to take control of the situation with Macros Cosmos as well as his depression after being defeated, he realizes Leon is another human being, like anyone else.  He comes to respect his brother rather than worship him.

He finally admits that he never really enjoyed training in the first place and Sonia allows Hop to be her lab assistant so he can train to become a Professor.

Marnie is less friendly to the player, Hop, and Bede at first.  She’s taken that resent of Dynamaxing to heart thanks to Spikemuth’s lack of a power hot spot, leading to Piers’ obscurity.  She wants to prove that someone can be Champion without needing to use Dynamaxing, and she manages to convince her brother Piers to give her an endorsement to prove herself.  If she fails, she promises to return and take over Spikemuth Gym for him.

Marnie doesn’t hate her rivals, but she resents them because they’re “special”-- having been endorsed by the Chairman and Champion.  Although she too was chosen by a League member, she feels as though Piers and Spikemuth are at a disadvantage.  Team Yell essentially hold their same position as in the original game, except that they have a strong dislike of Chairman Rose and the current state of the League.

Yell views Marnie as their Champion and cheer her on to victory.  Marnie is just as tired and annoyed by them, but she appreciates the support.  Although she ultimately loses to Gloria, she’s proud to have stuck to her guns about keeping away from Dynamaxing.  She becomes good friends with all her rivals by the end.  She and Piers later help evacuate Hammerlocke during Eternatus’ attack.

THE CHAIRMAN’S CHOICE

Bede starts out the same.  He’s sponsored by Chairman Rose, who has encouraged him to become a Trainer in order to pull himself out of his miserable childhood.  After hearing about Galar’s alleged impending energy crisis, he begins collecting Wishing Stars for Rose.  After he desecrates the monument at Stow-on-Side, Rose pulls him from the Gym Challenge.

However, Rose does not wash his hands of Bede.  He continues to encourage Bede, who is desperate for his approval and paternal affection.  He tells Bede that withdrawing from the Gym Challenge was to show that Bede had been punished properly; however, he sets the boy out on a new mission.

Not only does Bede continue collecting Wishing Stars, he is also attempting to take people’s Dynamax bands from them as well as seeking ways to harness some of the Dynamax energy from the stadiums.  It’s Bede who accidentally causes the first Dynamax incident in Hammerlocke when he is given a tour with Oleana and Rose, who intentionally leave him to his own devices in the Energy Plant.  The power failure is all orchestrated by Rose, but he makes Bede believe it was entirely his fault.

Bede eventually becomes the “fall guy” for Macro Cosmos.  By using the unaware teenager, Rose can divert attention away from himself and make himself out to be the good guy as he attempts to “teach” Bede to be better, all while stringing Bede along by getting closer with the young man as a father figure.

Whilst waxing about the state of Galar’s energy, Rose “accidentally” lets slip the mention of Eternatus, a being that could help forever power Galar if only they could harness its energy.  Although it’s buried deep below Hammerlocke and its energy provides much already to Galar, it’s not enough.

Bede decides to take matters into his own hands and attempts to summon Eternatus to help Rose by utilizing the machine to wake up the creature.  Just as planned, Rose again is able to blame Bede for everything in order to get people to cling even closer to his company.

Chairman Rose then discards of Bede now that his plans have completed, telling him he’s unlovable and too hard to “fix,” but thanks him for the help.  Hurt, Bede finally realizes he’d been used this whole time, but had repressed it due to his wanting to belong and be accepted by Rose.  He slinks back to Gloria and Hop and agrees to help them.  Although Rose hasn’t told him much, he has enough insider information in order to help them defeat Rose and Eternatus before it’s too late.  He’s injured battling Eternatus, but gives Gloria and Hop enough time to summon Zacian and Zamazenta in order to defeat Eternamax Eternatus.

After redeeming himself to the best of his abilities, Opal finally offers Bede the position of Ballonlea Gym Leader.  She met him during his initial withdrawal from the Challenge, but knew he had growing to do, but she encouraged him from the sidelines, always hoping that he would come around and learn to be better.

UNLEEFEATED

Leon is quite the same to start out as well.  He’s kind and cheerful, but ultimately shallow and arrogant.  Being the undefeated Champion of Galar for over ten years, he’s stagnated.  Although he never loses until Gloria comes along, he doesn’t learn much from his experiences.  His arrogance rubs off on Hop.

Although Leon believes in Hop, he still thinks his little brother will never match the talent for training that he has.  Gloria he sees more potential in, but still doubts he’ll ever be defeated.  However, curious to see how they’ll grow, Leon gives the two starter Pokemon as well as an endorsement so they may participate in the Gym Challenge.

Leon and Sonia’s formal rivalry is more highlighted.  The two had a falling out years ago due to Leon’s arrogance.  Sonia had enough of his inadvertent talking down to her during the Challenge as well as when she decides to quit in order to become a researcher, and the two had a massive falling out once Sonia felt she couldn’t even recognize Leon anymore after he took the Champion’s title.

Leon carries a lot of guilt for how he treated Sonia, but has repressed it enough to ignore it rather than ever try to bridge the gap between them.  He instead throws his investment in a rivalry and friendship with Raihan.  As he begins to encounter Sonia more and more over the course of Hop and Gloria’s journey, those feelings of sadness and regret return.

Before the Gym Finals, Rose approaches Leon to discuss business with him about Galar.  Rose is concerned for the energy that Galar will have, and shows Leon that the “endless” energy emanating from deep within Galar is starting to rapidly deplete all of the sudden.  Leon is shocked, and feels uncertain about Rose’s plan to fix it, and promises to think it over after the finals are done.

Once Leon is defeated for the first time by Gloria, he experiences a huge mix of emotions.  While he knows he should be proud of Gloria, a sadness eats away at him.  He feels empty now that he isn’t Galar’s undefeated hero anymore.  He had attached his entire identity to that ideal, and now, it’s gone.  While Rose exploits him at his lowest, Leon eventually comes to terms with his defeat.

He becomes proud of Gloria defeating him and throws himself at a new project: renovating Rose Tower into the Battle Tower so he can continue battling new and strong trainers.  Once Hop is given the assistant position to Sonia, Leon finally swallows his pride and apologizes to her.  While it doesn’t completely fix the tension between them, it’s a start, and Leon works at becoming at growing as a person and trainer.  Things are looking just as up for him as ever.

GALAR’S MOST BELOVED

Chairman Rose is a fucking bitch and I’ve had enough of him.  Basically, he’s not a big fucking idiot in this version.  He plays much harder into the role of the good guy, using Bede and other distractions in order to draw attention away from the fact that he is orchestrating a plot to take over Galar.

After all, Rose already controls a vast majority of the industry in Galar, as well as having the Pokemon League in his pocket.  He orchestrates a fake crisis about Galar’s energy, hoping to scare people into giving him more power.  This eventually culminates into false attacks on energy in Hammerlocke as well as the summoning of Eternatus.

He unintentionally almost summons Eternatus earlier in the story whilst attempting to pull more energy from the power spot in Hammerlocke, but fails, only to realize what opportunity he has.  Eternatus is stirring, and begins to eat away at the energy reserves at a dangerous rate.

After he tricks Bede into summoning the beast, Rose lets Eternatus wreak havoc by acting as if it was another error by the boy, who he constantly manipulates and feels little for.  He hopes to re-establish his role as the leader of Galar by helping defeat Eternatus, taking responsibility for Bede’s actions.  He has an untested device that will ideally contain Eternatus, but only in the event of Leon and his failure to defeat it.

Seeing Leon unable to beat Eternatus, he attempts to kill Leon in hopes of drumming up sympathy, wanting to make Leon a martyr for Macro Cosmos.  Then, he would attempt to use the device to placate Eternatus and utilize its power to further help Galar and prove how badly the region needs him.  However, he is defeated by Bede and then captured by authorities, jailed and his business dissolved.

HOW ABOUT THE PLOT?

There’s a lot of the same beats as in the vanilla game, but with some changes.  When the Dynamax incident happens in Hammerlocke, Hop and Gloria go to investigate, only to find Bede responsible for the incident.  They battle, argue a bit, and then try to help fix the problem, only to be stopped by Leon.  Leon is upset that the kids would disobey him when he told them to move on without worry, but was glad to see them stop Bede.

Bede is encountered a few more times throughout the game generally causing trouble on behalf of Chairman Rose, who continues to sigh and look like the tired father figure to the boy.  Opal attempts to nudge Bede towards realizing his true potential, as well as that he will not find meaning or value in trying to fight for Rose’s affection, but goes unheard.

There are unusual earthquakes and things happening with Dynamaxing.  Sometimes Pokemon randomly start and stop Dynamaxing in different areas.  Macro Cosmos promises to investigate but encourages everyone to continue their Gym Challenges and Dynamaxing to the best of their ability.

When Leon takes the kids out to dinner to celebrate them making it to Wyndon, Hop doesn’t freak out.  Leon texts them to let them know he’ll be late, and eventually, the kids are invited to Rose Tower when it appears that the meeting is growing longer and longer.  Rose gives them a tour, and explains that he and Leon are simply discussing some troubles with Galar, again disparaging Bede for his foolish actions in order to “help” the issue, before sending them on their way.  Hop and Gloria have a bad feeling about it, but don’t say anything.

Leon is defeated without any outside interference from Rose.  After a party celebrating Gloria’s win a few days later, Eternatus breaks out of Hammerlocke and starts wreaking havoc.

Rose approaches Leon and begs him to help.  He tells Leon that although Gloria overcame him, he is still Galar’s strongest hero, and that he’ll be loved in the hearts of millions if he is the one to defeat Eternatus.  He’d show Galar that he didn’t need to be undefeated to be a hero and a winner.  Leon agrees both out of duty and out of a need to “prove” himself to Galar once more.

Leon and Rose confront Eternatus together at the top of Hammerlocke Stadium.  Rose promises to fight alongside Leon, but soon disappears as the battle grows wilder.  Leon hardly notices as he fights to protect his and his Pokemon’s lives.  Leon tosses a Master Ball given to him by Rose just before in order to catch the dragon, but it fails.  Eternatus is uncatchable.  The beast bursts out of the ball and attacks Leon and his Charizard with even fiercer determination.

Leon starts to lose hope and confidence in himself, and soon nearly his entire team, save for his Charizard, is wiped out by Eternatus.  He attempts to escape, but Rose reappears to stop him, demanding to know why he’s giving up.  When Leon tries to leave again after explaining himself, Oleana knocks Leon out and they leave him to be devoured by Eternatus.

Bede soon arrives to stop the Chairman from his plans in order to give Hop and Gloria time to grab the sword and shield and to arrive back in Hammerlocke.  He manages to fight off Rose and Oleana, but finds himself beaten by Eternatus as well.  It’s just enough for him to try and drag Leon to safety before Gloria and Hop soon arrive, and begin to battle Eternatus with the help of Zacian and Zamazenta.

Leon comes to in the middle of battle and rushes back out once he hears the sound of the beast from outside.  As much as Bede attempts to stop him, they both arrive at the top again to see Gloria, Hop, and the legendary wolves defeating Eternatus’ Eternamax form.  The Pokemon loses its form and collapses into a pile of bones, the energy dissipating and being taken by the wolves, who returned to their resting place in Slumbering Weald.

Authorities catch up with Rose and Oleana and the two are arrested.  Macros Cosmos is dissolved.  Dynamaxing is no more thanks to Eternatus’ defeat, but the Gym Challenge roars on.  Zacian and Zamazenta absorbed the energy, spreading it evenly throughout Galar, helping the energy issue but preventing Dynamaxing from occuring.  People cope with the loss, but enjoy the act of simply battling anyways, learning about other forms of ultimate evolutions, such as the Megas from Kalos.

Not sure about the post game yet because I hate those sword and shield hair fucks and I don’t feel like coming up with a reasonable plot for them.  That’s not really important to the AU anyways, but if I come up with something, this post will be amended and I will make a note of it.

[animatedpileofbones]

DA q's!! 1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 11, 14, 17, 25, 33, 34, 37, 40, 42, 47, 51, 52, 60, 63, 66, 77, 78, 79, 98, and 99~! (◠‿◠✿)

eli i love you man here we go, this is long sorry but i have a Lot To Say! i literally wrote like 1500 words for these so it’s under a readmore.

1 how did you get into dragon age

i was on tumblr when inquisition came out and a lot of my friends and mutuals at the time suddenly became dragon age blogs for a while (some still are, howdy!) yEARS later i found origins on discount at gamestop and decided to check it out and whoops now i’m a fucking mess forever :)

4 about my warden(s)

My first, and most recently rehashed* warden was Gwinek, she was a casteless dwarf rogue, dual wielder. I didn’t know there were specific temperaments in this game like in 2 but I play her as gruff but fiercely loyal. She would do almost anything for her friends and sister, but is very naive in matters of magic. She romanced Leliana.

*rehashed because I came to the series completely blind, and as such made some not so great choices the first time around.

I also have an elven mage, named Lemmen, she was also a big helpy helperton but slow to trust. She romanced Alistair and I don’t like to think about that sacrifice. :’)

5 about my hawke(s)

My first Hawke was Marcel, a dual wielding rogue and I played him purple. He is big into his friends, obviously, but mostly just wants to be liked despite the fact that he is accidentally an asshole sometimes. He romanced Fenris. All my Hawkes romance Fenris. I love Fenris just so much and I keep telling myself one of these times I’m going to romance Isabela but then Fenris walks in all drama and vengeance and I’m just too gay to handle it. My latest Hawke was Lucien, a… purple dual-wielding rogue. He erred on the side of blue, though, whereas Marcel was vaguely red, so. Not Entirely the same but view my problem, especially going into...

6 about my inquisitor(s)

My first inquisitor was Vodahl Cadash, a… dwarven dual-wielding rogue. :) He was pretty anti-chantry but was also more invested in taking care of his crew than making enemies, preferring to let Josephine handle PR and just say what she told him to say while he supported his team as he saw fit. He lived for life on the road, mostly, an adventurer type, but whatever his inner circle needed, they got. He romanced The Iron Bull, because I’m a thirsty thirsty bitch. I rehashed the dwarven rogue in Heraht, this time romancing Dorian; Heraht was much more enamored with surface life, not necessarily Ferelden-style though. He was well manicured and a bit on the sarcastic side of charming. Right now i’m playing a human sword-and-shield warrior, Errol Travellyan, and he is accidentally just Dorian But From The Free Marches in personality. He can be easily frustrated, I play him fairly no nonsense at times but he’s trying to maintain his Approachable Facade. He’s…. also romancing Dorian OH NO

7 favorite origins backstory

Oooh this is tough because I love Leliana so much, and Alistair just makes me cry all the time I Love That Man, ooh this is tough but I think I have to say Morrigan. She is a story gift that keeps on giving, and I think this is because of what we learned in Inquisition. Without that info, I think… OH NO WAIT IT’S SHALE, HANDS DOWN IT’S SHALE

11 best hawke quote

it’s not specifically a quote but when you bring the viscount’s son back in act 1 and you can either keep your mouth shut about their disagreement or Well Actually yourself into that conversation, that’s my favorite.

14 favorite origins party combo

Before you get Shale, it’s Alistair, Leliana, and the dog. After Shale, it’s Shale, Leliana, and either Zevran or Alistair.

17 mabari name

In Origins, I named the mabari after a person from the backstory. For Gwinek it was Leske to keep her friend with her even now. For Lemmen it was Jowan, because at least the mabari would never let her down. In DA2, it was a family pet, so for Marcel it was named Champion, and for Lucien it was Handsome Cal, and you can envision all sorts of titles in there but I didn’t have enough characters. Lord Handsome Cal Esquire III (he was the first)

25 favorite inquisition place

It’s the Hissing Wastes for sure. It’s always dusk, it’s so vast and beautiful. I love just hanging out there.

33 favorite dragon age character overall

Hey Eli? I hate this question! I am doing my current playthrough solely for the benefit of Leliana this is true. But I have a horrible weakness for two (2) men, Fenris and The Iron Bull, I can’t choose between them, and also Varric, and, asdlfjasdf how could you do this to me? I also identify very heavily with Dorian, and, I’m going to just cry instead of answer this, how about that?

34 least favorite character

Oh it’s Anders no doubt, no question, I hate him. I hate him so much. Like don’t get me wrong, I am in full support of mages taking back their space in Thedas, I just. Have known guys like Anders and the way he hits on f!Hawke like immediately after his intro quest, y’know where we had to kill his boyfriend? felt so bad and just turned my mild irritation into full-on hate.

37 blood magic yes/no

Nope.

40 moment/action i regret in game

Just like everything with the ending of Origins. I don’t prefer to do the ritual with Morrigan because I tend to play women which means I need to coerce Alistair into doing it and I did that for exactly two savestates (one being my Cousland because I wanted to see how that went and then the first time around with Gwinek) thinking “this is the best long term post-game choice! Neither of us have to die! And I’m not even making him be king!” despite it sitting bitterly in the back of my mind the rest of the series. then comes Inquisition and the full consequences of my actions hit me like a brick in the face and I eventually scrapped that playthrough and went back and didn’t be a shithead shitbag, replaying Gwinek entirely so that choice wouldn’t have even begun to make sense to her. I regret that so much.

42 who do i wish i could romance

VARRIC “PARAGON OF MANLINESS” TETHRAS

47 best antagonist

Arl Rendon Howe from Origins, cos he was voiced by Tim Curry and that was just so sexy of a choice. In all seriousness though, Meredith from da2.

51 favorite warden/hawke/inq headcanon any/all

Lucien Hawke routinely had sleepovers at his estate in Hightown. He tried to a couple times while living with Gamlen, but everyone was too sad to indulge him.

Heraht nearly breaks up with Dorian on a near weekly basis whenever Dorian accidentally lumps him in with the Fereldens re: hygiene. Also, not a headcanon but just the way I played but the two of them absolutely had coordinating outfits at all times.

Gwinek shared tents with Wynne most nights, finding in Wynne the mother she wished she and Rica would have had.

Also with Gwinek, she may have helped her sister’s paramour become king but she doesn’t trust him half as far as she can throw him and comes down to Orzammar on the regs to make sure he’s treating Rica right, and he knows damn well that Gwinek put him into that throne and she Will take him back out of it, and he can’t do shit without risking absolute chaos. 

This is also a good time to mention my ot3s: Hawke/Fenris/Isabela, Heraht/Dorian/Bull

52 favorite npc headcanons

Fenris took to reading rather easier than Hawke would have guessed, only Hawke didn’t know just how well Fenris had taken to it until years into their relationship because Fenris thought the “lessons” were cute.

The Iron Bull introduced hot cocoa to Skyhold and literally changed so many lives in that moment; quartermaster Morris pulled so many strings to get marshmallows in, and when they arrived the first time the celebration was almost a riot.

60 who do i wish had been given more story

Weird to say for the woman who had her own Origins DLC and also was pivotal in Inquisition, but Morrigan. She’s just really interesting to me. Also, Warden Stroud. I think he was just there to be the Easy Low Stakes Choice to leave in the Fade honestly but I hated not having a reason to care about him. I didn't play any da2 dlc tho.

63 best story moment

This is tough? I enjoyed the landsmeet in origins. I think most of da2 was great story. Except Orsino obviously. I think I’m just going to point to all of da2. Yeah.

66 something i hate about any of the games

it can’t seem to decide how it feels about the qunari. also that there are characters that absolutely are not straight that the writers decided Actually, Despite Everything, They Are Straight Actually :’)

77 what moment/memory still gives me chills/feels

Definitely definitely Dorian’s confrontation with his dad. That was so well acted, I felt that pain and betrayal so viscerally. It hurts every time. As for a different brand of chills, y’know when if you seduce The Iron Bull and stuff finally starts happening there, and he lifts the inquisitory by the wrists in One Hand and remember I was playing a dwarf, oo golly that shit is All I Need In Life

78 what am i hoping for in da4

More magic and Old Gods and stuff! More Morrigan? Familiar faces!

79 what am i worried about for da4

Familiar faces! :’) Also just so heavyhanded “morally gray” issues that is actually just bad edgy writing. Worried we will be racelocked like in 2 :(

98 if i could be any non human da species which/why

Dwarf, because halflings don’t exist in thedas and dwarves are fairly industrious as a culture

99 where would i live

Despite what I just said, I would probably live somewhere in the Free Marches! Kirkwall ended up pretty fucked and I am absolutely biased because da2 was my favorite.

[coalessscence]

HOW HAS YOUR CHARACTER DEVELOPED FROM THEIR ORIGINAL CONCEPT ?

IF YOU HAVE A CANON CHARACTER, answer in the sense of what made you want to play them, how you have come to interpret them differently -

(for both MIRA and HERB, who i consider to be my most well-developed OC and CANON muses, respectively) PART ONE. what thing(s) initially inspired your character ?

mira. i was inspired to create her as a character years ago, when the mentalist was still on tv. the seventh season had yet to air, and there were the usual spoilers of questionable validity going around. some blog wrote a “leaked spoiler” article about how they were going to have the seventh season of the show include an “intellectual equal for jane” and the people i knew in the fandom at that time were pretty unhappy about it, imagining how badly it could be handled, and the possibility of a forced love triangle that no one wanted. i decided to try and figure out what kind of character i wouldn’t mind having as that “intellectual equal” and ended up writing a fic about it- and thusly, mira was born. this is why her default full canon crossover verse is set in the post cbi world at the fbi in texas, and also why i arranged her backstory connections the way that i did at the time.

herb. the reason i decided to write herb came when i got sucked into wkrp in the first place. i had always known about it and liked it well enough, thanks to my parents, but hadn’t seen much of it or been very invested. i somehow ended up finding a channel on youtube with almost every episode posted in nearly uncropped sizes. of course, i began to binge the show, and although everyone on it are my children and i adore them all- herb is.... my type. he’s awful, he’s a jackass, he’s everything you’d love to hate, and in the early seasons he’s written like an antagonist sometimes. but he has a character arc- one of the more notable in the show (aside from bailey’s and venus’), he becomes less of a jackass over time. you learn about his childhood and you see the man who raised him, you see how he interacts with people, and how those ways change over time. and you realize there’s a lot more depth to this character than you thought. and for some reason, i just couldn’t leave that alone- i wanted to bring my problematic son to life.

PART TWO.  how has their personality developed from their first concept ?

mira. my initial concepts for her character were all terrible. i won’t go into great detail about them, but i hadn’t done my research or thought anything through that well. i was probably about fourteen. it was not a good thing. however, the fic universe went through remakes and updates, and i kept updating and adjusting her universe and character as i saw my mistakes in hindsight. even now, outside the world of her OG fic, when i made her blog, i gave her backstory, personality, and all the specific timeline dates and details a major overhaul, and made other small adjustments when i later moved her to this blog. originally, she was a lot more... like jane, to be honest. a lot more shit eating and closed off in a different way- reminiscent of the way that he is in the show. she had very little causation for how she had become who she was in her backstory; a lot of facts with no reasons to back them up. she was more flippant, and she was also much younger, in her early-mid thirties. her imagined style of dress was very different- think of the fashion posts i reblog for ruby nowadays, instead of mira’s fashion tag. the way she spoke was a lot more obnoxious- still with emphasis on sounding sophisticated, but without the casual flair. if you’ve ever written with mira, you know that she has no use for formality; she speaks with proper-ness but she throws out procedure in favor of a more real human interaction. in her original incarnation, she spoke with big words for the sake of it, and used sarcasm past a point of her proper tone. i spent half my time googling synonyms for words, and in fact, most of my rewrite of her OG fic was just me fixing her now cringey incorrect dialogue.

herb. when i first started writing him, i think i focused a whole on on the fact that i knew he was an asshole. that was partly because i had just come off of only writing the sweetheart of the nation, lorraine baines. but, it was also because i was very aware that my love for him as a character caused bias, and that i could accidentally end up purifying him in a way that would bring him out of his character. i knew from seeing it in past experience that fandoms can take a character that has a lot of issues at the source of their personality, especially when the character is from a canon that involves a group of people/friends/family/whatever, and victimize them, blaming exclusively outside sources- perhaps even the character’s friend group- for their faults. i was super against falling into that trap, and i think i may have over compensated a bit, forgetting that in the show, herb does canonically display actual, normal human emotion and speak with more openness about some personal situations to other characters than i imagined he did. i have, over time, become very comfortable writing him, however- very aware of his faults and problems, and the things he’s done to himself, but also aware of what qualities of his are actually good. re-centering myself with the actual essence of his character, rather than stereotyping him in my own writing, is something that i think has improved my portrayal immensely over time.

PART THREE.  how has their appearance developed from their first incarnation?

mira. i was thinking that she still looked about the same, but to be honest that couldn’t be further from the truth. i would show you the “face claim” (read: random, unnamed image i found on google one time) i used to represent mira in the thumbnail of the first iteration of her OG fic, but i don’t have it anymore. however, she was wearing heavy eye makeup, she had mid-length brown hair, but it was styled so that it swept straight up at the roots- a very 90s-grunge look, for some odd reason. remember, this was at the same time as i was hc’ing her wearing frilly dresses and heels everywhere like life was a ballroom. it was a mess and i didn’t know what i was doing. as for how she looks now-

she’s gotten older, obviously. her hair is a conservative middle or side part; her face is more angular than i initially imagined it. her hair is just past her shoulders (although not many of my icons do properly represent this). and her makeup is very much an essentials, 50-products-but-it-looks-like-nothing look. also, for those of you who don’t know, her main official FC is rachel weisz.

herb. i’m afraid i don’t have much to say for him in this category? his appearance has always been determined by his canon representation, and that hasn’t changed at all. very plaid. very terrible. although, i really thought about that one episode of the show where jennifer, a coworker, makes him dress super nice and like... Actually Look Good for a day. his clients who come in that day are convinced that he’s not one of them (a sleaze) anymore and pull their business in search of someone else like them. in trying to regain their trust, we hear him promise, “hey, come back tomorrow and- i promise you i’ll have on a suit that will make you airsick!” it’s made me wonder what point in his character arc did he realize that the way he dressed was genuinely horrifying? whenever he’s been affronted about his clothes, he’s defended them heartily, even well into the final season- past the point where he refers to them as able to make you “airsick”. does that man that he’s now just maintaining the act because he feels trapped in it? and if so- how many other, less trivial things in his life are being maintained for the same reasons?

PART FOUR. what do you think most makes your character unique ?

mira. i must admit that other than people writing canon characters from the show, i have not seen anyone writing a character who can be described as a “mentalist”. i think that mira’s “abilities” are part of it, because it’s like trying to write a telepathic character who doesn’t have any supernatural abilities. she’s just a good guesser who’s studied her craft well. i also think that her backstory is probably a part of it. she has come from a very specific place, and it’s effected her thought processes and personality today in a lot of specific ways. she’s been in a few notable situations in her past, and it does give people writing other muses a lot of options to connect with her in a plotting situation. i think the concept that she’s based on, while having grown and changed exponentially over the years, is still one i haven’t seen done elsewhere, and helps to propel her storyline in a unique direction.

herb. he’s the opposite of everything in his presentation- he’s a serial skirt chaser, who actually really loves his wife and family and does not want to cheat. he’s an asshole who actually cares about people and, in subtle, clumsy ways, tries to help them- as long as it remains a secret. he’s a lot of very inexcusable things- sexist, homophobic, etc. it does, in a way, take some commitment to portray him canonically and know the consequences. a lot of people i’ve tried to plot with just really couldn’t like him, and i don’t blame them. he is, after all, a jackass. he’s just... really not as bad as he likes to act as though he is.

TAGGED BY: i stole this from @machinemotion who did it about 500 years ago ???? and i’ve had it in my drafts forever intending to do it cuz it looked fun and now.... here I be bc I FINALLY HAVE THE TIME LOL whoops TAGGING: EVERYONE WHO SEES THIS ummmm @cbipsychic ...... @piper-aileen-lenox .... @peoplesking ... @violetxsilverxstark and uhhh @innocentmanwithabounty and uhhh idk ?? I FEEL LIKE I DONT KNOW ENOUGH PPL LOL BUUT IF U SEE THIS AND U WANNA DO IT TAG ME CUZ I WANNA SEEEEE

[fureniku]

The return of my blog or something idk

Looks like in my last blog I said I’d not post my semi-private stuff here, only to a private blog.

Honestly, I can’t remember the name of the private blog; let alone the login/password. I think I only made one post there, to zero followers, and kind of lost the point of doing it. So fuck it, lets just go back to being here.

Days since last post: 614 Todays date: 30th September 2019 Start time: 20:39

Well, I guess we have some catching up to do.

I don’t know how many people on here were following me before. So, I guess I’ll start with a sum-up. My previous blog was just me ranting about anxiety/depression related things. It was a good platform for me to vent my thoughts without real life friends knowing; I had a few RL friends who followed it which was great as they could give me some support, but most of them didn’t know about the blog, which was also great as they then didn’t know a side of me I’d generally prefer to keep private. That blog was deleted in early January 2018, when the drummer from my then-band found it. I had made some comments about my frustrations in the band which were true, and I stand by them - but naturally it caused drama. I deleted the account, and instantly regretted it - I only had maybe 50 followers, but now I have two, so yeah.  Life since then has been... chaotic. Not specifically in a bad way, just a lot of things happened. When the blog ended I was; - Single - Playing guitar in a band - Working a dead-end job in a Warehouse - Had no ambition/drive to progress life

Three of those things have since changed; I’m still single (not for lack of trying but whatevs). I guess I’ll cover a timeline? Jan 2018: I deleted my old blog, and made this one, and a second one with a more secretive/anon name. I made a couple of posts on each, then abandoned it. Instead, I started relying mostly on just one friend to help me. May 2018: I got a new job, working for a games developer. It literally changed my life. Anxiety/depression started to clear up a lot, things just generally improved. June/July-ish 2018: I left my band. There was an argument about the fact another band was using our space for free, after we had offered it to them at a split rate and they declined. I instigated the argument, other members didn’t see eye to eye with me, so I quit. It was a final nail in the coffin kind of thing, but it was certainly the healthy thing to do. The whole situation had been kind of toxic for a little while, but I now get on just fine with all of them - I think if I had stayed much longer, that might not be the case. Our vocalist left very shortly after me as well - I don’t know the reasons why, but it seems the terms were... less happy.

September 2018: I started taking Japanese classes. Met a girl, had a crush on her for a bit, it didn’t go anywhere as usual. No biggie.

December 2018: Depression came back a bit, as it always does around then. Not much I can do about it so I just power through.

February 2019: I got made redundant from work. I was cool with it, I could see it coming for a while and there was like 12 other people too, my boss had fought hard to keep me but the game wasn’t doing so well, so I totally get it. I got a nice redundancy pay (which they by no means had to give me, so I’m super grateful). I applied for a job with another studio; quite a big one called Jagex. They were far from me so it would’ve involved moving and stuff, so quite scary. I made it to the final stages, but didn’t get it.

I now had a fair lump of cash (I had been saving for a house anyway), but not quite sure what to do with it. Followers of my previous blog can probably guess what I decided to spend it on...

April 2019: I went back to Japan! My mental-health-reset trip mark 2. I spent about two and a half weeks there (despite fucking up and accidentally buying a ticket to return mid-may... whoops). I got detained in China on my way home too but that’s a whole other story (it was all sorted and fine in the end).

While in Japan, I had time to clear my head and think. I decided I wanted to go back to university, so started thinking about how that would work. Here in the UK, we get a student loan to pay for university. It’s a bit complicated, but the way it works is you get your course length plus one year of funding. The day you set foot on campus, you use one year of funding. Now, I had already been to university previously - I studied music production. Totally dead industry, I dropped out about three weeks into my second year. That meant, I only had course length minus one year’s funding left available. So I have to pay the first year of university myself. At a cool £9,250.

My dad agreed to pay one term, so one third of that. I managed to save up another terms worth by working over the summer. I’m sat in my uni dorm right now, still not quite sure how I’ll pay for the third term... but I’ve got 6 months to figure that one out.

May 2019: I returned to my original job, back in the warehouse. Picking and packing sacks of bird food, so much fun. My mental health naturally slipped again, although everyone was really friendly to me while before it was kinda like I didn’t exist, so that was nice.

Around this time, I also joined an Overwatch team. It was a pretty big team with maybe 14-15 members, it was cool to make some new friends. Except one guy, was a dick. This OW stuff is like a whole side story from hereon... Anyway, I said to my squad leader (We’ll call her SN) that this guy is a dick. She said ok and she’d go talk to him. She said do you agree you’re being a dick, he said no. She said do you acknowledge one of the squad members thinks you’re being a dick? He said no again. Some other stuff I don’t know happened, and he got kicked off the team. He turned a load of people against her, caused loads of drama, and everyone blamed her when it was 100% my fault. So that was fun. The only reason I didn’t leave the team right then is because if I had, the entire drama would’ve been for nothing.

June 2019: My old boss who didn’t work there appeared at the end of may. I have a job for you. Ominous... but ok. Turns out, there was a new system being implemented on another contract. As I had experience with QA, and had done some IT stuff for them before, they wanted me to help with the testing and implementation. It was a job that would test my brain, while requiring little physical work - it was perfect for me. I really enjoyed it. It was supposed to be a four week thing, but we found lots of niggly little problems in the system... as far as I know, it’s actually only just gone live - but may have been delayed further.

While working up there, obviously there was downtime while waiting for fixes to be implemented. “What, you want this label a different size? oof, that’s gonna take about three weeks”. However, I got to stay in the office, doing odd jobs and stuff. One of the “odd jobs” ended up being a full on Android app, that my boss and me developed together. It was super fun to work on and really rewarding. That was worked on on-and-off between June and August.

July 2019: an interesting month. There was a major incident at work where a shelf holding very heavy metal shit stirrers collapsed. (The contract was a water treatment etc company, who provide all the clean water and water recycling for my local area. The things on the shelf literally stirred shit.) No one was hurt but it was a lot of drama, which was kind of entertaining to me as I was totally bunking off for the whole week where it happened. Not just the occasionally check Facebook on your phone at work kind of bunking off; I literally just messed about on Discord and worked on Minecraft mods for about two weeks straight. They had given me quite a big project to do, I automated the process... gg ez.

Around this time, the game I had been a part of before was to be officially cancelled. My old work invited me down to the studio to be a part of the formal funeral for the game, which was a big honour. I even got to fly the sky-whale which was awesome. It was bittersweet though, as the game meant a lot to me and had literally changed my life.

August 2019: haaaaaa august was a meme. I’d gotten kinda close with a girl (we’ll call her AP) in my Overwatch team. Like, we’d arranged to meet up at the end of August anyway but yeah, she was the first crush in a long time who actually knew I liked her. And she had certainly implied she felt the same way... like she’d been sending lots of hearts and stuff and talking to me 24/7, tagging me in “X has to take you on a date to Y place” memes and so on.  Anyways, so SN had apparently picked up on the fact I liked her, and started getting super pissy with me. I was pretty good friends with SN and we got on well, but in August she suddenly started getting crazy angry with me over tiny things. It all came to a head when I let AP kill me in a game (long story). Turns out, SN was like in love with me... despite breaking up with her boyfriend of over a year like 2 days before this conversation. So yeah, she told me to fuck off and that was that, she left the team etc, which thanks to chain of command meant that I was then in charge. fun. 

Anyways, get to the end of August, and I was due to meet AP. We met up, it was pretty cool. We hung out at a gaming festival, then suddenly like half way through she was like “lets split up for a bit” and I was like ........ok thats weird but alright. We didn’t meet up again until literally when she had like 2 mins to go, but it seems like she had a lot more fun without me being there. Clearly I’d done some major fuckup, which I still don’t actually know what it was. I had an anxiety attack before I even reached my car... and not a little one either. It’s quite possibly the biggest anxiety attack I’ve ever had, I barely made it to my car before having a total meltdown. It was the first one I’d had for about a year and it hit hard. It took me about 30 mins to calm down, then I headed home. 

I messaged her that night and asked her what happened, and she replied with “oh I never said I liked you”. It hurt a lot, like I’d been totally lead on. But hey whatever, that’s my life in a nutshell right? “Oh you want this happiness? this happiness right infront of you? HA nah”.  She said in the same message that I “seemed cool” and she’d like to hang out again sometime. But literally within a week she was clearly interested in another guy, so yeah whatever. We’re still friends and play games from time to time but I know she likes this other guy, so yeah. I still like her but whatever, not much I can do about it.

Work was a meme as well. I got taken off the fun and interesting projects to do paperwork. Literally, my job was to scan 35,000 documents because they couldn’t find a couple of bits of information. I suggested much better and more efficient ways, but the boss of the contract was like “no thats bad do it this old fashioned way we don’t want any fancy apps or anything” (I had suggested a spreadsheet or database). It took me about 3 weeks of just standing by a scanner which would jam up every 15-20 sheets in. It was mental health hell, especially in the last week after all the AP stuff had happened.

September 2019: I had one week left at work. I finished the hellish scanning project on Monday afternoon. “Oh as a thanks for your massive hard work we’ll make sure to find you things to do for the rest of the week” No it’s fine, I’m happy to just finish a few days early so I have more time to prep for uni. “No no no, we’ll find you stuff to do” They did not find stuff for me to do. I literally sat there, with nothing to do bar a few odd jobs “hey can you fix this printer”, for four days. It was incredibly mind-numbingly dull. The only thing ticking me over was “hey, maybe they wanna give me a card on my last day or something to say good luck and bye and thanks for doing this literal £20/hr job for half that because you’re agency staff”. But nah, a few people said cya later, but a lot forgot I was leaving entirely. So that was a fun way to finish what had mostly been a decent job...

I then had two weeks of freedom, before moving to university on the 21st. I was nervous; who wouldn’t be? but it was cool. I finally moved out of my house, and had a place where I could make a lot of new friends (LOL). On the day I moved in, I met up with someone I’d spoken to online a few times who was living in the same building as me, we’ll call her S. She was nice, we got on well, and it was kinda cool to have a friend who was a girl that for once I didn’t have a crush on (coz I’m still totally hung up on AP). We ended up going to a club in the evening which I’ve literally never done in my life, and she brought me out of my comfort zone a lot. She was great for my anxiety and really helpful. We’ve hung out a few times since, but I kind of feel like I was just a “filler friend” until she made new friends. She actually totally blanked me when I walked past her today, so that was fun. She has my Switch atm too coz I let her borrow it, I’ll probably just get it back later this week and then be done, its like I put in all the effort to be a friend and she couldn’t care less.

Anyways, so as I said I moved in on Saturday. I met one of my four flatmates on Saturday and another on Sunday, but hadn’t seen the other two at all. It gets to Thursday and I’m tidying the kitchen a bit, my mum’s about to pick me up so I can move in my last few things, and one of the mystery people appeared - she hadn’t actually moved in yet and was just unloading her stuff. She had loads of kitchen stuff, seems she’s really into her cooking.

Anyway, mum picks me up, we go to get my stuff, then we’re driving back, and my phone starts blowing up. S: Are you in? Me: No, why? S: Your building’s on fire. Me: lol nice joke S: no really *picture of everyone evacuated with fire engines outside* S: It’s your floor too, idk which flat. I wasn’t far out, so found her outside when I arrived. I’ve seen people going in, not being funny but one of them looked like [one of my flatmates]. Shit.  A few mins later, the girl who had just moved in came over. You know it’s our flat right? Shit. Turns out the extractor fan on the cooker malfunctioned. I won’t share the video itself coz one of my flatmates is in it, but yeah it just started spraying molten something all over the hob and surfaces. (They said it looked like molten metal, and they were there - but I don’t see how it would’ve gotten hot enough to melt any metal. My best guess is fat that hadn’t been cleaned from last years tenants)

So yeah, we got moved into another flat. The open cupboard right there was my one - I rescued my custom cup from it that the games studio had given me. It’s no good to drink from now, but it still looks ok so I’m glad I can keep it for decorative purposes at least. The rest of the food is waste, and I have to wait for the plates etc to get cleaned. I’m currently eating ready meals out of their cook-in containers, because I don’t have any plates, and only one fork and spoon. I bought some paper plates today though so I’ll use those from tomorrow, but I still don’t have any saucepans or anything.

I wasn’t around when they sorted out the replacement accommodation. Because of that, the other four from my flat went to the same new flat together, with one new person. I was put into a different flat which also had one other person in, my building manager assured me they’re “really nice”. I asked if they knew I was coming, BM said “they’ll know when we get up there :)”. That was Thursday, today is Monday. The only food in the kitchen is mine, I’ve not seen anyone. I’m 100% positive I’m alone in this flat.

And so yeah, that’s my uni experience so far. I had my first lectures today, it was cool because I already knew all the stuff so I got to feel smart (I’m doing computer games programming, and it was mostly about design docs which I read through extensively while working at the studio, so I knew exactly how they worked etc). But, I didn’t really make any friends. I kind of joined in with a couple of other people in each lecture, but it seems like they weren’t really interested, so whatever. I had an anime society taster this evening as well, and it was when I was on my way to that that S blanked me and I just got hit my like a wave of loneliness. I didn’t make any friends at the anime society, so I kinda just gave up and came back to my flat, and started writing this. As I was getting the fire picture from above though someone asked me if I wanted to hang out, so guess I’ll see how that goes. Not holding out much hope tbh and I’m at the point of becoming a full on hermit... I mean hey, at least I’d get a perfect score on my degree if I just focus on that and eliminate any social aspect right?

Finish time: 21:38 Length:  3,302 words/16,759 characters

[johnshelbymylove]

What a Tease Part 3

1st gif source: X

2nd gif belongs to Bonniebird (gif source: X )

John x Reader

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5 

Prompt: You tease John while he is in a meeting.

A/N: I accidentally posted this to my main blog (oops!) so i had to redo the entire post (double oops!). But if you’re reading this it’s finally up so yay! Part two did so well, so I decided to release this earlier than I originally was going to. (Two days after Part 2 instead of a week later!) I’m currently writing part four but based on how long I think part four would be if I tried to end it while including all I want in it I think there will also be a part five but that will most likely be the last part unless I get a lot of people asking for more parts. I have a few ideas for new fics floating around so i might make a vote based thing soon just to give me an idea of what you all would like to see. Okay I’m done rambling. Enjoy and leave me feedback!

John shut the door and stood over leaning against the wall with a still perfect view of you through all of the windows that showed the view of the inside of the betting office. 

“You finally decided to join us, John.” Tommy stated flatly, while taking the longest drag of his cigarette John had ever seen. John just nodded thinking it better to not take a swing at the beehive knowing he would just get stung. His brother seemed upset and he would usually be worried about that but he couldn’t stop thinking about the way you looked up at him. Or the somewhat reserved yet devilish smile you always had while speaking to him. You were untamed yet very held back. Reckless but reserved. Strong but dainty. You were a living contradiction and he loved every ounce of it. 

He looked over at you as you walked over to a grouping of filing cabinets. Even your walk was graceful yet calculated like that of a ballet dancer.  'God she’s perfect.’ John thought to himself while staring out of Tommy’s windowed office.

‘Why was it so hard to even get to that point with her? Nothing’s holding me back. No wife. She has no man. My family wouldn’t judge me. What was it? I am always the one to make moves on the woman not vice versa.’ John thought while continuing to attend his eyes to your every movement.

 You had been the most compelling and captivating thing he had ever seen and the second he saw you he wanted nothing more than to tell you everything about himself and to know everything about you. 

Yet, he still knew nothing about you and you knew nothing about him. 

Confidence was never usually an issue for John. So this was something he was not used to. Sure he still dropped hints of his infatuation with you but it still was weird to him, not knowing exactly how to treat you. In his mind, you deserved respect but he also wanted to match with your lively, reckless attitude without overstepping his bounds. 

He looked away from you and tried to refocus his thoughts on what Tommy had to say but his eyes kept wondering towards your figure outside the glass. You looked up at him from the files in your hand, smiling devilishly as usual but this time as if you had an idea. You then started biting your lower lip, sliding your eyes up and down the young Blinder’s muscular figure that was fit into a handsome and sexy looking suit. John was fully engrossed in your every movement. You turned away from him pretending to drop one of the files onto the floor. John almost let out a laugh of impish nature, but stifled it to avoid his brother’s anger. He couldn’t believe you were actively trying to sabotage his attempted focus on his brothers words. You leaned down to grab the file in the most enticing way you could, your rear still in the air. John patted his suit coat in search for a cigar and an urgent need of something to do with his hands and mouth. He looked away for a second trying to be a gentleman but his eyes shot back to your body as if pulled by a magnet. You slowly stood back up quickly glancing at John to see if you maintained his focus. He still looked back in your direction, now puffing on a cigar still leaning up against the wall. 

You looked away and sat down on your desk, slowly sliding your dress up to your upper thigh where your garters fastened to your stockings. Your hand drifted gracefully along your leg while you did so. Sliding a case of cigarettes out from underneath your stocking, now looking up at John’s wide eyed expression that was transfixed on your body. You slightly giggled to yourself as you pulled one cigarette out of the shiny case. Placing it in between your lips and lighting it with a match. You shook the match out in one single motion, looking at John who’s focus was now on your lips. He followed your hands as they moved back down towards your leg, sliding the cigarette case back in between your leg and the stockings. You slowly covered up the case placing the edge of your dark toned dress at your knee leaving the rest of your leg exposed as you crossed your legs now leaving both legs exposed. John’s eyes darted from your legs to your Y/E/C eyes. Still engrossed in your fearlessness. He grinned cheekily, hiding the smile by bringing his cigar back up to his lips.

He now looked at you waiting to see what you would do next. You bent down slightly playing with the shoe of your leg that was crossed over the top of the other. Your chest was now slightly exposed in his direction. He smiled, being more impressed by your actions than he thought he would be. To him you were like a rare piece of jewelry encased in glass and locked away so no one could tarnish you. You untied and retied your healed boots, feeling his eyes on your chest and the smile on his face and then the attention…gone.

“John, we have a serious problem going on.” Tommy calmly but agitatedly spoke to the side of John’s head that was facing out towards the betting office. With that John’s head then turned in Tommy’s direction losing focus of Y/F/N and transfixing it onto Tommy’s words. 

Michael who had stood up to grab a drink from Thomas’s table of whiskey looked through the glass to see you slowly starting to lean up and making slightly embarrassed eye contact with the now  amused Michael. “He seems a little preoccupied with Y/F/N.” Michael said laughing at his own words and taking a sip of his drink while watching you readjust yourself, as John slightly clenched his jaw at his cousin’s staring. Tommy looked up outside the glass to see you let your  your dress back down to your ankles no longer revealing your legs but still sitting on the desk. Tommy saw you wave towards him and was now slightly smiling. He looked at his younger brother who was now fidgeting with his hat by pulling it off messing with his hair and putting it back on. 

“Just fuck her already.” Tommy said plainly in more of a commanding tone. Raising his eyebrows as if to ask 'what are you waiting for?’

 Arthur and Michael laughed slightly at Tommy’s vulgar honesty. John had a face of shock at first that slowly shifted into bashful laughter. 

“John, just get out of here. You and I will discuss this business issue at a later time.” Tommy said nodding down at the papers cluttering the desk he was leaning over, staring at John and then nodding at the door as if to dismiss him. John grinned looking back out at your figure behind the glass. Then, grabbed his hat off his head shoving it into his pocket.

 John shot out of there leaving his cousin’s and brother’s laughter behind as he walked out the door into the main area of the betting office. John was walking straight towards you. And you, slightly apologetically, started towards him. “John I am so sorry. It will never happen again. I wasn’t-” you were cut off by his rough lips colliding against yours. He filled you with warmth as he placed both hands on either side of your head. His hands cupped your jawline and his fingers met at the back of your neck. He pulled you closer leaning down into to you, not letting up. You wrapped your arms around his neck in realization of what was happening, feeling his buzzed hair at the back of his head, pulling yourself up closer to him as his tongue collided with yours. You slid your hands back down gripping the edges of his suit coat trying to pull him closer. You were practically one person moving in sync. 'God he felt good’ you thought. One of his hands moved to the small of your back, surrounding you in the comfort of feeling his attention on you.

 You pulled away from him breathing hard and smiling foolishly still feeling his also heavy breathing.  Eyes still shut in hopes of feeling more deeply. He continued placing small pecks on your  lips until the heat of the moment turned into just warmth and you smiling kept him from doing so.

 You looked up at him as he still held your face. “You were saying, love?” he smiled still out of breath. 

You laughed over the fact that he just called you 'Love’ thinking for so long that he was an unattainable dream. He was too good for you but you didn’t care. He could have any girl but he chose you.

 "What are you laughing at?“ He said slightly giggling at your adorable chuckle. 

"It’s just, I thought at your rate it would be three more weeks until we got to this point. You’re pretty slow, John.” You said playfully mocking him, hands still on his chest.

“You’re going to pay for that later.” He said just as playfully but more suggestive, one hand still at your jawline tilting your face up to his.

 "Isn’t kissing you punishment enough?“ You laugh slightly lips still millimeters away from his.

 "Ouch!” He says springing back slightly making a face of pretend pain. You laughed at the goofball that was the man in front of you. 

“You’re going to have to speed up a little bit if you expect to catch up with me, John Shelby.” You pulled him back down to you, your hands around the back of his neck, kissing him but this time you hear clapping and whooping from his cousin and brother who were exiting Tommy’s office. You feel a smile form on John’s face as he pulls away foreheads lingering together for a moment. You bashfully leaned against John trying to hide your face in his suit coat as you were sure it was getting red. John used one arm to hold you to his chest and another to grab a nearby pencil and toss it at his brother, who deflected it. Arthur was still laughing with Michael as they walked towards his office. 

John looked down at you. “You want to get out of here?” He said quietly, to which you nodded. He grabbed your jacket for you and placed it on your shoulders. His arm wrapped around you as he walked you out into the  street towards his house.

[rapmonamous]

20 Questions Tag

20 Questions Tag

Rules: answer the 20 questions and tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better. I was tagged to do this before (also by @saintminyoongi whoops) so I’m going to do different questions

tagged by @caught-in-a-lie  Sorry for being emo that one time

NAME YOU WOULD RENAME YOURSELF IF YOU HAD TO: Sequoia. I found out that was a name on Chopped lol, but I love that name

DO YOU LIKE OR REBLOG MORE: I used to like more, but now I reblog more and add comments whoops

SAYING YOU USE ALL THE TIME: rip. Not R.I.P rip. Same, and recently I started putting whoops at the end of every sentence

STAR SIGN: Scorpio 

TIME ZONE: Eastern time in America. I live way southeast

LAST TIME YOU ATE ICE CREAM: I have a friend that works in an ice cream store, and her coworker accidentally colored the vanilla ice cream pink, so she brought some home and had me and some friends play games to win pints of it. I won 2 pints. It was good hecking ice cream

LAST CONCERT YOU’VE BEEN TO: I don’t go to many concerts because I live in a small town. I mean, I live close to the Masters (I hate Masters traffic dear lord) but I hate golf. You’d think we’d have more concerts since we host a huge national golf tournament and have at least 2 10k seat stadiums. But I went to Atlanta to see this lame as heck artist named Will Jay that my sister loves. He was going on tour with several other bands. Rivers Monroe is hilarious in case anyone wants to look into them.

FAVE ALBUM AT THE MOMENT AND ALL TIME: At the moment, I am falling in love with Rise by Skillet all over again. It came out in 2013, and I listened to the whole album so much I got sick of it. I’m just now getting back into it and man, I forgot how much I love Skillet. My all time fave album is definitely Cinematics by Set It Off. I love Set It Off so much omg

BIGGEST FEAR: Not being able to protect my loved ones. You can hurt me, but please don’t hurt my loved ones

FIVE FAVORITE OBJECTS: makeup, sweaters, pancakes, wifi, and UNDERTALE!!!!!!!!!

FIRST CHILDHOOD MEMORY THAT COMES TO MIND:  When I was 7 I did racing carts for the first time, and no joke every time there was a turn, I would get stuck. The lady had to push me out of the turns so much that I actually remember her face whoops

WHAT DO YOU WISH YOU COULD POST? I wish I could post more of my own original memes. I would also like to be a good artist, but all I can do is draw crooked lines and stick figures (speaking of which @ask-abstract-stick self-promo I’m garbage)

ONE THING YOU WANT TO ACCOMPLISH IN THE NEXT FIVE YEARS: Learn how to film. I want to know the whole process and be able to do it well

FAVORITE SAUCE: wHiTe sAuCe. I love white sauce so much i consider it a side religion.

BLOGS THAT YOU TALK TO ALL THE TIME: @namjoons-dimples-ism (I LOVE AGA SKDAAKASDFH) @infinitelostflowers (bless you child) @ask-artist-jin (My first ever stick drawing was for her whoops)

WHY DID YOU CHOOSE (in my case change) YOUR URL: I saw a meme about rapmonymous on Pinterest with my current icon, and I was like I HAVE TO. Unfortunately rapmonymous is taken so I had to misspell it, but whatever. I used to be infired--trash btw

(I’m adding two more questions to give @omgtforkpop less stress)

CURRENT HAIR COLOR: half black half white. Kinda Like this

DO YOU PREFER COKE OR PEPSI: coke. coke. coke

FOLLOWING: 49 POSTS: 1,012

I’m going to tag @plsdontmindmepls @ask-jinnie-hyung @omgtforkpop @givememypaintbrush @ask-single-parent-yoongi @min-natural @yoaveragepotaetoe  @badbtsimagines @crying-in-korean and anyone else that wants to